last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
