Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
