I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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