just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
