I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
organizing the empties. That sober.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
