While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
