Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
