And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
