walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
