his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
