Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
