I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
