I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
