I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize