didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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