I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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