She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
We left an ass print on the piano.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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