I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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