so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
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