Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
