Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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