I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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