you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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