i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
