Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
