speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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