We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
she smelled like a LAN party
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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