Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
