Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
