Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
