I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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