matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
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