Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize