if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
