Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
