Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Randomize
