What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
