I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
