im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
