So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
