the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
