she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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