So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
