I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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