He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
