why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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