I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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