I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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