what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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