I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
